September 26, 2009

Sometimes you reach a point of no return. Meaning, yes I just spent an hour talking to the cute guy I have a crush on with lipstick all over my front teeth. Oh well, I can't be embarrassed now, nope, not after I worked up the courage to even talk to him and now I can't act like a little lipstick is going to bring me down.

Or sometimes you reach a point where there is no more moving forwards, or climbing up and over, or around (you get my point). No you have reached a dead end, kinda like in a maze where you are sure that that one path is going to take you somewhere, but it doesn't. So what do you do? You back up. Yes you reverse. You go back to the beginning if needed to figure it out. But for some reason this makes people look at you funny. Why? Maybe because they could get through the whole maze without having to start over or take another path. Because they are so certain that the one way they did it was the right way!

I will have to make a very hard choice in the coming days. Which is kinda ironic that it's so hard, because the answer is so clear. Do you ever have those? Yes, it leads to more work or possibly a harder road to take, but the answer is still the best one. I know you want me to just spill it, but I can't, not until I have fully committed to this choice. Which means I owe it a little more thought and processing.

But I just needed to say that going backwards or starting over never makes you less of a person, if anything it makes you a person who is brave. And hopefully those from the outside looking in will see that.

Hope your weekend was better than mine.....the Hogs lost, again! :(

September 23, 2009

Deep Thoughts

So I've been applying for jobs like crazy....any job. And the I keep getting the same answer. "We're just not hiring at the moment." Okay that's fine, but I mean hearing that every time is starting to get me down. And then today happened!!!

Yes, what was different about today? Nothing, except I finally realized that I have a great opportunity here. I have the opportunity to be anything! Yes, I have the chance to do it basically all over again (in a sense). I mean I can't get a job, which means that I have the opportunity to try out anything my heart can dream! This is amazing to me. It's a brand new start. Not one person can tell me that I can't do something, or that my idea is stupid, or unachievable. Why? Because my friends I am at the bottom. I have NO WHERE to go but up! I heard on the radio the other day about a famous comedian (who of course I can't think of at the moment) who got into the business because he said he had reached his lowest point. He lost his job, his wife left him, he had nothing, nowhere to go. And he found joy and comfort in laughter and so he said to himself "why not, I have nothing to lose." And he was right. So what if I fail? I'll be right back where I started and I'm okay with that because I can say I tried.

What would you do if you had an opportunity basically do whatever your heart could dream. I mean this with your current situation. For instances you would still have your significant other and kiddos to think of, but for the most part you had no where to go but up. What does your heart desire?

I know I seem to be talking about the serious parts of my life right now which can be a HUGE drag. I promise it will get better! I just want to share my thoughts. I've got to put them somewhere, why not share them with the world. I hope your hump day was great!!

September 21, 2009

Sometimes I feel like this.....

For the longest time I did NOT know that this song was a Christian song! I love it and I haven't heard it in a long time until today. Oh yes, while driving around with my poor attitude trying to find a job I stumbled upon this song and it totally made my day! I love the little ways God likes to talk to you. Needless to say I danced around in my car and had a ball turning my frown upside down! I hope you enjoy it too! And I hope your Monday was wonderful.

P.S. I'm already SO excited for Christmas!!!!!! I can't stand it!!!!!

September 20, 2009

Who knew?

That I was such a HUGE dork! Yes, I think it's official. Why you may be asking? Well because I've discovered that I LOVE "The Legend Of the Seeker" a TV show based on the series of books by Terry Goodkind's called "Sword of Truth". Why does this make me a dork, because it's based on fantasy, oh yes! Wizards and "Seekers", evil emperors, magic, sword fights, and of course love. It does help that the leading man is a hottie too. Yes people I like magic, apparently. Ha ha. No but all kidding aside I really enjoyed this TV show and I'm so excited that they will be making a second season. I felt very compelled to share this new found wisdom and hope that you can all find you inner love for fantasy! :)

Doesn't this poster make you wanna watch it?

I would almost go so far as to say that I love Richard and Kahlan about as much as I love Jim and Pam. ALMOST! I know that's saying alot. So I hope one day when you're bored and you can't think of anything better to'll watch an episode or two, but beware, you will like it! You can watch the first season instantly on Netflix and I think you can also watch it on Hulu. (Is that what it's called?)
Hope your weekend was great!

September 18, 2009

Do you ever

love a show or certain characters and wish they were together in real life??? I do!!!!!!!!!! My most favorite couple is Jim and Pam. We don't have cable so I have to wait til the new episodes are online, but I'm so excited about the new season! And I wish that Jim (John) and Pam (Jenna) were together and in love in real life, because their TV characters are just SO sweet together! I'm corny I know! Then my very realistic boyfriend points out that it would probably never work for them in real life, because they aren't like their pooper. Oh well, here's to hoping! And here's to another GREAT season of the office!

Baby Love!!!!!!!

I love my nephew so much it's hard to imagine the love I will feel for my own children some day. He is the happiest little guy in the whole world! I hate that it will be 3 more months before I see him again (I bet I don't make it that long, I'll crack). He loves his Aunt Jonnie too! Just see for yourself.

Here he is with his proud Momma!

Such a big boy!

Austin all dressed to support those HOGS!

Love him!

See.....told you he was the happiest little guy!

September 17, 2009

Dinner Spanakopitas

I'm delighted to be participating in my first EVER "Show Us Your Life" over at Kelly's Korner!

I saw this recently on the Food Network show, Barefoot Contessa. I have to admit that her show isn't my favorite BUT I do love her cookbooks. They are great! And so is this recipe if you love spinach. When I saw the recipe I thought it would be too complicated for me, but it's super easy, however you will need to devote a little bit of time to it. Still it's worth it. So enjoy. I am just going to link to the actual recipe for Dinner Spanakopitas to make it easy, but I will upload my pictures and let you know that I substituted slivered almonds for pine nuts. I'm not a big pine nut fan, but thought a little crunch would be nice, so I tried almonds and I probably could have added some more. I actually only ate one of the spanakopitas that I made and froze the rest for a rainy day. I loved the melted feta cheese with the spinach....yummmmmmy! Thanks for stopping by.

Side note, do NOT be afraid of phyllo dough. It was my first time using it and I actually impressed myself! :)

There are two things I learned from writing this post. #1: It's NOT easy to take pictures of food and make it look good enough to eat. #2: #1 might be because I need a better camera!

September 16, 2009

I can't help it......

I am IN LOVE with this young man. Someone told me I don't have to feel bad because he's not as young as I think and they were right. He's 21, so now all I need to do is figure out how to get to Hollywood and get rid of Vanessa. Ha ha. Just kidding, but he is a looker! (And he can sing AND dance, a man after my heart).

Taken for granted

Since moving, I've been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching (as I'm sure you could tell from my last post). And here are a list of things I realized I have taken for granted.

My car. Someone tried to steal my car a little while ago and it was out of commission and cost me $500 to get fixed. I used to constantly complain about how crappy my car was and it was always trashed. Well not anymore, I gave it a good cleaning the other day at my sister's and will keep it that way.

My ability to pay my bills and my job. I kept thinking while I was working in Little Rock about how I needed to find a better job, how I wasn't at a place I envisioned myself being at career wise, when in actuality I was in a great position that had tons of potential. I also used to complain about paying the I worry I won't be able to pay them.

Dreams. I somewhere, somehow forgot how to dream and set goals for myself. Something that was always going on in my head. I attribute this to my lack of finding a job and just letting myself get down, but no more!

My health. I used to be the most active person AND I enjoyed it. I haven't treated my body very well and that needs to change!

The ability that God gave me to make something of myself. Lately, I have felt lost, without a clue, feeling sorry for myself and as I was driving home today it dawned on me that I used to possess this amazing ability to turn negative or potentially bad situations into good things, opportunities to grow. I haven't done that with my current situation and I'm a little ashamed. I always get so upset when I see people who act or say that they deserve something in life (money, wealth, love). I mean we ALL deserve to live our best lives, but it's also up to us to use what the good Lord gave us, our abilities. And for a last couple of months I've been moping around thinking that I deserved for someone to just give me a job....ahhahaha. Silly me, I guess I forgot what hardwork was too! So I am coming home with a new attitude and I'm ready to embrace the adventure.

Hope you are too!

September 15, 2009

A quarter century crisis

Yes, I think that would be an appropriate name for my situation. Forgive now for the random thoughts that are about to follow.

I believe that no one should be with someone if that means changing who they really are. Or if they aren't/can't be their best self. (Disclaimer, this has nothing to do with my relationship, just thoughts I've had recently).

Will I EVER get a stinking job??????????????????? How long can one person be broke?

Is it ever really too late to pursue your dream? No, I don't think so, but does it still apply if your dream is always changing or growing? I still hope the answer is no.

When do you really figure out what you want to do with your life, is it when you finally find it? Or do most people just settle for a job they are content but not happy with? Because this girl won't stop until she finds what really makes her happy.

What's crazy to think about is that almost every feeling or thought that I've had about relationships or love or life in general someone else hundreds of years before me probably had too, just according to the generation they were living in. It blows my mind that once upon a time, Abraham Lincoln thought his heart was so broken that he didn't know if he could bare to take another breath. It equally blows my mind that as much as I will try to prevent these same feelings for my children they will still experience them.

Do you truly think that there is someone out there that has no regrets? I would do my life all over again the exact same way but that still doesn't mean I wouldn't have some regrets!

Do you ladies ever think about adopting kids? Just wondering.

And finally I will sum up my random thoughts with this. I have the best sister, nephew and brother-in-law that any one girl could ask for. I love my sister with all my heart (I know I've mentioned this before). Sometimes I think about feeling sorry for myself because of things (by things I mean feelings and emotions) that I lacked from my parents and I realize that God gave me those "things" through my sister. Someone to laugh with, someone to look up too, someone to support me, someone to tell me that yes boys aren't always nice, but you deserve better, someone to sing me to sleep when I was scared at night. Someone to love me for me. So thank you God so such a wonderful blessing! And thank you sister for being that blessing.

September 1, 2009

To blog or not to blog, that is the question.

And the answer is I'm not blogging. :) Not because I don't want to, but I find that being currently unemployed means that any free time I have should be spent writing cover letters and applying for jobs. Endless amounts of jobs! I know that the "economy is bad" and that "times are hard" and that "job opportunities are saturated with applicants". But come on people. I mean I'm not asking you to pay me 6 figures.....just enough so I can live (at least at the moment, I'll take the 6 figures soon though). No, but seriously I've been having a hard time finding a job. It's very trying and can really get a person down, but thankfully I have a wonderful boyfriend and the greatest friends and sister who are all very positive and uplifting when I complain about this. Okay I'm done with that discussion. Moving on.

I get to go home this weekend and have a good stay!!!!!!!!!! Well a week, but I feel like I just won the lottery or something. From the above mentioned statement of being jobless this trip is very much a luxury and I couldn't be more excited. I need a familiar face to laugh with, hug, and sing very loudly with while we ride around in the car. I need to kiss my sweet nephew and eat something that my sister cooked. I want to see cows and see people waving to strangers as they drive (yes, occasionally I mistake this for the bird). I want to be back in the great state of ARKANSAS!!!!!!!!!!!! Having only been in New Orleans for a short 2 months, I already know that no place else will ever really feel like "home". Not like Arkansas does at least. And although I hope to learn new things and experience new adventures here in NOLA, I still wake up everyday and think of all the people, places, and things I love and miss about Arkansas. So in other words.........I'm very eager for Friday to get here so I can hit the road!

I'm sorry but you can't tell me that you wouldn't miss that face too! He's the best thing in the whole wide world.