and I usually enjoy it! Today I wanted to attempt to make more headway in our office, specifically my side. (Which is a MESS). Well there's been a box sitting in our office for, well since we moved in. So tonight I went through it and got to look through three picture albums and some great CDs. All of the pictures were from high school, which is always fun. I got to thinking about two things! First, I loved at the end of the school year when the yearbook peeps would sale all the random pics they had taken throughout the school year!!!!!! I found some hilarious pictures that I had bought of my friends. I also loved being a part of the yearbook staff. And second, I really enjoyed my childhood and teenage years!!!! I don't think I could have asked for anything more!!!!! I truly feel blessed for all of it!
NOW....I also found some of my senior pictures, and I got a little sad, well sad isn't the right word but I can't think of it right now. Not because I miss it (living it once was good enough) I'm not one who wants to go back, but who is just glad for the memories. I was sad (for lack of a better word) because the person in those pictures was excited about who she was, sometimes I feel like I'm a 14 year old girl again who is so unsure of herself. I'm sure you always keep some of that with you, but I need to start believing in myself again. Where did that go? I'm going to take a stab at it and say that growing up, bills, work, responsibility and all that comes with it has kinda crippled me. Which is absurd. If anything I should be ten times more sure of who I am since that day years ago when that picture was taken, but I can said that I'm not. But I can also say that it's for no good reason. So ...... I think it's time I stopped trying to control every little thing that is out of my reach and just let it flow. Of course we all want to quote the classic serenity prayer:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference
which is so so so so true!
I also think this one is fitting for me right now:
They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.
I like this one because time didn't change me, I changed because of the way I reacted to the things that were happening around me. So I'm sure we've all felt "not like ourself" from time to time....and that's all I'm feeling today. (Sorry if the post was kinda a downer). But hey I would appreciate hearing the things you might do to get back to feeling like you again.
On a brighter note I found my Waiting to Exhale soundtrack, which I'm pumped about!!!!! Listening to it right now :)
And I want to leave you with some fun pictures....(I promise for a more upbeat me tomorrow)!
[caption id="attachment_176" align="alignnone" width="450" caption="I love this picture of my friend Allison"][/caption]
[caption id="attachment_175" align="alignnone" width="450" caption="Just some girls I miss!"][/caption]
[caption id="attachment_178" align="alignnone" width="321" caption="Sweet sweet Bavery"][/caption]